I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When did angry sex become our thing?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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