Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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