Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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