I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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