if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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