took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He did a backflip because drugs
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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