Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
