She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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