Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
