and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm at about main and main street
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
