Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
