Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
