also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
