Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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