Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
