Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
