Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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