I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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