come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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