If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
