Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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