She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
