Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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