good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Randomize
