I love black thongs
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
