The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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