Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
