I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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