as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
