you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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