don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
