Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
