is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
