Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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