I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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