My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
