He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
