I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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