Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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