Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
