who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
