it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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