the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
