Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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