you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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