my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
