dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
