she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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