I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
