Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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