I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there was a trapeze. enough said
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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